Wednesday, 23 May 2012

100 Words That Immediately Imply Sex

If you say them just right.

From business meetings to churches, everyone is using sexy, sexy words, but they might not know it. Here’s our list of the 100 words that, when uttered even by the most innocent among us, are filthy.

1. Penetrate

Normal Example: “We need to penetrate the market.”
Sexample: “We need to penetrate the mother of our children.”

2. Thrust

Normal Example: “With enough thrust, the spacecraft will leave Earth’s atmosphere.”
Sexample: “Thrust it!”

3. Suck

Normal Example: “That presentation sucks!”
Sexample: “Suck my elbow, Petey. Do it!”

4. Drawbridge

Normal Example: “You don’t see many drawbridges these days.”
Sexample: “Mmm...drawbridge!” [Editor’s Note: Only works with a French accent, and even then it’s only successful 18% of the time.’s worth a shot.]

5. Scissor

Normal Example: “I will use this coupon as soon as I scissor it.”
Sexample: “Hey Tracy, let’s scissor!”

6. Staff

Normal Example: “We have a hard working staff.”
Sexample: “I have a hard working staff.”

7.  Business
Normal Example: “The business meeting is at 2 p.m. in the solarium.”
Sexample: “My staff is all about business.”

8. Junket
Normal Example: “We will be attending the junket in April.”
Sexample: “I can’t wait to junket April’s drawbridge!” [Editor’s Note: OK, fine. This one isn’t dirty. But it sounds dirty when used as a verb.]

9. Jelly

Normal Example: “Pass me the jelly?”
Sexample: “Pass me the jelly for my staff?”

10. Necessary

Normal Example: “Seat belts are necessary”
Sexample: “She rubbed jelly on her necessary.”

11. Bend

Normal Example: “I call my elbow the arm-bend.”
Sexample: “Bend!”

12. Action
Normal Example: “The action in last night’s game was thrilling.”
Sexample: “Petey couldn’t handle Lisa’s action, and so he cried softly while she slept.”

13. Spot
Normal Example: “Pancakes sure hit the spot!”
Sexample: “Pancakes, the name of my sex toy, sure hit the spot.”

14. Function
Normal Example: “The tractor couldn’t function without the wheels.”
Sexample: “She put the ‘fun’ in function!”

15. Grease
Normal Example: “Grease is a good movie.”
Sexample: “Have you seen my ass grease? For my ass?”

16. Knob
Normal Example: “The door knob is sticky.”
Sexample: Do we really need to write this one out for you?

17. Juice
Normal Example: “Nothing beats fresh squeezed orange juice.”
Sexample: “Why is the dashboard?”

18. Fold
Normal Example: “Fold the paper three times, and you’re well on your way to making a snowflake!”
Sexample: “He witnessed the delicate folds of her womanhood as the shadows of dusk blanketed the outside world. And then they boned, hard.”

19. Lick

Normal Example: “Lick it.”
Sexample: “Lick it, Madame.”

20. Rear
Normal Example: “The emergency exit is in the rear of the building.”
Sexample: “If you don’t rear your child correctly, he or she may sell pictures of their rear.”

21. Frolic
Normal Example: “Everyone frolicked and had a grand time at the picnic”
Sexample: "Everyone frolicked and had a grand time at the picnic...until they all got pregnant.”

22. Junk
Normal Example: “You don’t need all this useless junk, Petey.”
Sexample: “Damn girl! Where you going with all that junk? Also, you have nice junk!”

23. Enter
Normal Example: “Enter to your left, please.”
Sexample: “Dammit Petey! You’re doing it wrong. It’s not on the left! Have you ever entered before?”

24. Pole
Normal Example: “Santa Claus lives at the North Pole.”
Sexample: “My pole is ready to enter!”

25. Lips
Normal Example: “Her lips were rather soft...for a turtle.”
Sexample: “Her lips were rather soft, as were her lips.”

26. Hole
Normal Example: “It’s difficult to hit a hole in one.”
Sexample: “Petey just stared at the hole, not knowing what to do next.”

27. Dick
Normal Example: “Stop being a dick.”
Sexample: “Dick means penis, all the time. There is no other way to use it as a common noun.”

28. Pork
Normal Example: “Pork is high in sodium.”
Sexample: “Petey says they porked, but you could tell he was lying because he used the word ‘porked’.”

29. Shoot
Normal Example: “Shoot me an email as soon as you get into the office.”
Sexample: “Don’t shoot as soon as you get into the office, Petey.”

30. Hang
Normal Example: “Hang it by the vase.”
Sexample: “Petey, why do they hang like that? Were you in a mountain bike accident?”

31. Beat
32. Squeeze
33. Sack
34. Seep
35. Come
36. Under-carriage

37. Gross
38. Canal
39. Leak
40. Prick
41. Stilt
42. Sin-hole
43. Skin
44. Finger
45. Slit
46. Balls

47. Swallow
48. Taste
49. Tongue
50. Dangle
51. Jam
52. Slam
53. Tenderness
54. Chains
56. Throat

57. Slurp
58. Stroke
59. Drip
60. Pant
61. Pants
62. Snatch
63. Grope
64. Huge
65. Wallow
66. Kiss
67. Nip
68. Ass

69. 69
70. Group
71. Underwear
72. Ram
73. Rub
74. Soak
75. Bottom
76. Wet

77. Moist
78. Humid
79. Randy
80. Tight
81. Yum
82. Gobble
83. Yuck
84. Mmm...
85. Bust
86. Ripe
87. Felt
88. Mouth
89. Pinch
90. Grind

91. Owl - If you don’t know what this means, you’re not ready to find out.

92. Turtle - It’s like owling, but with no eye-contact.
93. Slide
94. Spent
95. Liquid
96. Shimmy
97. Rump
98. Frigid
99. Flickin’
100. Discharge

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