Everyone loves cleavage. We certainly do. But the sight of two breasts can be a double-edged sword. Stare too long and you get in trouble. Look too little and you miss out. When quality cleave is on display, it makes you want to stop time for an extended stare of booby-mush. But sadly, us dudes don’t have the ability to stop time. We’re left with crooked glance tactics like the photographic-neck-whip snapshot, the I’m-just-looking-for-someone-over-there shifty peek, and of course, the reflective surface bounce-look.
Society tells us it’s wrong to look, but the shirt cut says a gaze is a must. We can’t help it really. We’re hard-wired to love boobs, and nothing’s more distracting than the supple intersection of two gorgeous breasts.
We shouldn’t hide our love for sexy chest valleys. We shouldn’t be ashamed of our appreciation for booby neighbors. We should celebrate the cleave on the regular. We should applaud those happy few who display the best cleavage of the year.
The following list contains breast sets of all sizes. We tried to include some variety; fit busts, grand canyons, subtle cleave, after-market add-ons and all-natural sweater puppy pairings. The selection factors are all highly subjective, but we feel like we know good cleavage when we see it. Overall hotness certainly plays a factor. You’re not gonna find any goat-faced girls with fantastic racks on this list.
And yea, we know 2011 just got underway, but why wait 11 more months to celebrate fantastic cleavage? Let’s get to it…
100. Sophie Turner
This Australian supermodel might not a have a belly button, but she makes up for it with her after-market top-bollocks.
99. Carmen Electra
We know, it’s 2011, but Carmen Electra is still pretty hot, man. Just take a look at her new calendar.
98. Mary Elizabeth Winstead
She survived Final Destination 3, Live Free or Die Hard and Scott Pilgrim vs. the World. She’s got a gorgeous face but she’s not afraid to show off a little indie cleave either.
Rhianna gets points for the most publicized sneaky cleave.
96. Lindsay Lohan
Anytime Disney has to shield audiences and reduce your bust using CGI, you definitely got some junk upstairs. Rehab cleave may not be the sexiest look, but if homegirl ever cleans up, she’ll put her pups back on display.
95. Hayden Panettiere
Everyone’s favorite cheerleader will be showing off her pompoms in Scream 4.
94. Alyssa Milano
Milano’s bra buddies need no introduction. It’s hard to read her tweets without thinking about her ‘tas.
93. Padma Lakshmi
We don’t care how old she is. She’s got delicious milk cans and she’s not afraid to show ‘em.
92. Katherine Heigl
She’s come a long way from My Father the Hero.
91. Eliza Dushku
If you sat next to her, you’d sneak a peek too bro.
90. Isla Fisher
She rocks that approachable, down-to-earth ginger cleave to perfection.
89. Heidi Klum
After pumping out so many kids with Seal, Klum still looks delicious. Her umlauts are still world-class.
88. Blake Lively
Subtle cleave FTW. Plus, she pushed those peaches up wicked hard in The Town.
87. Hayley Atwell
This lovely looker from London is will be showcasing her loaves in the new Captain America film.
86. Odette Yustman
She makes painfully horrible films (The Unborn, Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2, etc.), but she’s total-package cute. Yustman kinda reminds us of Megan Fox without all the miles. She also gets bonus points for being in Kindergarten Cop.
85. Kendra Wilkinson
What she lacks in the face, she makes up with the boob.
84. Paula Patton
Halle Berry’s former stunt double is carving out a name for herself. The movie Mirrors was definitely a break out role for Paula’s Pattons.
83. Kate Beckinsale
Drop dead gorgeous with subversive subtle cleave (possibly due to a tasteful boob job).
82. Emmy Rossum
81. Angelina Jolie
Jolie’s no spring chicken. Just look at her hands. She’s got Madonna hands, man. But for the purposes of this list, don’t look at her hands. Just look at her Jolies.
80. Karolina Kurkova
Pouty Czech cleave courtesy of Victoria’s Secret.
79. Aishwarya Rai
You don’t get to be crowned Miss World without some world-class peaches. This Bollywood-crossover star’s got more curves than the 405 freeway.
78. Jennifer Lopez
Past her perky prime, no doubt, but J Lo’s not afraid to put her puppies out there still.
77. Yvonne Strahovski
Not the biggest pumpkins in the patch, but she’s the only reason anyone watches Chuck.
76. Jessica Biel
She’s not all butt and teeth. Biel’s got some hot buttons too. Don’t believe us? Here are six words that’ll make your day: Powder Blue on Netflix watch instantly.
75. Jennifer Aniston
Wait, what? Aniston made the list? Indeed she did. If you were forced to sit through The Bounty Hunter, Aniston’s painful rom-com flick with Gerald Butler, at least you got to see Aniston bouncing around in that top they gave her.
74. Dania Ramirez
We didn’t buy into the whole Turtle love interest thing on Entourage, but we’re sold on Dania’s upper body assets.
73. Jessica Lowndes
Canadian cleave FTW.
72. Kaley Cuoco
Big Bang indeed.
71. Audrina Patridge
At the wrong angle, this chick’s artificial cleave can look funky as hell, but with the power of professional photography, those synthetic snuggle stacks are downright dreamy.
70. Candice Swanepoel
There are a ton of Victoria Secret types on this list, but for good reason. Candice proves that bigger busts don’t always win. Sometimes fit cleave can work wonders.
69. Layla Kayleigh
Nerds love her, and we do too. The former G4 babe is of Middle Eastern, European and African descent. Just a good mix all around.
68. Eva Amurri
What, you thought Susan Sarandon’s daughter was gonna have some under-the-radar cleavage? Please.
67. Selita Ebanks
This sizzling former Victoria Secret model is all kinds of stacked.
66. January Jones
We don’t judge bitchy cleave, we just enjoy it.
65. Izabel Goulart
Victoria Secret knows how to spot Brazilian talent. Izabel and her tropical papayas are no exception.
64. Ashley Jones
She’s been a soap start for years, but it’s her True Blood appearances that landed her on this list.
63. Jennifer Lawrence
The star of Winter’s Bone and X-Men: First Class has got some healthy, healthy cleave.
62. Maria Grazia Cucinotta
We have no idea who this chick is.
61. Heather Graham
The Hangover reminded everyone that Heather Graham’s boobs deserve more exposure on film.
60. Alice Goodwin
Another UK bird with a majestic chest cleft. She’s a model who isn’t afraid to show off her talents in full (seriously, Google that shit).
59. Vanessa Minnillo
Nick Lachey knows a thing or two about fantastic breasts. Way to upgrade to a former Miss Teen USA just in time, bro.
58. Holly Madison
The touched-up girl next door landed on her feet after oiling it up with Hef for awhile. She’s got some nice fake cleave, but we kinda wonder what she looked like 11 surgeries ago.
57. Rachel Stevens
She’s a UK singer, model, songwriter, dancer, TV person, but we don’t care about any of her accomplishments. Those roundies merit praise on their own.
56. Rosario Dawson
Rosario must’ve been plump back in the day. She slimmed down into a toned-looker, but she kept her upstairs junk and we thank her for it.
I’m 100 percent not ready for that jelly. Her body may be bootylicious, but it’s her bosom junction that always catches our eyes. Beyonce’s set strikes a great balance. Not too perky, not too saggy. Not too large, not too small. Not too distant, not too smashed. Just the perfect pairing of two great breasts.
54. Maria Menounos
She’s just adorable. And her cleave has this friendly, extra-approachable vibe.
53. Mariah Carey
Oh man, those golden globes have their own gravitational pull! And if she’s pregnant, then what? Will it force a realignment of the Earth’s magnetic poles? Will the new South Pole be in Wisconsin? Only the Mayans know.
52. Jessica Alba
Alba may want to tone down her sexiness, but that’s an impossible act of madness. If there’s a list that involves hotness, Alba will be on it.
51. Penelope Cruz
She’s still got it.
50. Lucy Becker
Becker is the queen of buxom Brits. The blokes across their pond just have a thing for comely wenches with cannon ball bumpers.
49. Ursula Mayes
What? Deal or No Deal went off the air a long time ago? And Ursula Mayes only makes appearances at auto shows? We don’t care. That quality cleave is burned in our memory for at least a couple more years.
48. Hope Dworaczyk
Playmate of the Year in 2010, baby!
47. Jessica Burciaga
Burciaga just makes you wanna be reincarnated as a bikini top.
46. Bar Refaeli
What, you thought Leo was settling for anything less than fantastic cleavage? That dude’s been bagging big game boob since Gilbert Grape.
45. Gemma Atkinson
Who knew Mr. Bean’s real-life daughter would grow up to have such debilitating back problems?
44. Francoise Boufhal
She’s 5-4 and she’s got 28H’s. She’s basically bankrolling every chiropractor in England.
43. Bar Paly
This Israeli supermodel makes us want to have a halva milkshake.
42. Julie Benz
Dexter’s wife had a season-by-season cleave expansion that was just off the friggin’ charts. They had to kill her off to save the rest of the cast.
41. Jaime Edmondson
Miss January 2010 brought in the new decade with some first-class cleave.
40. Emmanuelle Chriqui
She’s underused in Entourage, but she makes up for it by topping sexy lists like AskMen’s Most Desirable Women of 2010.
39. Nicole Sherzinger
This Pussycat Doll is a Maxim list staple for good reason. Smokin’ bod, gorgeous face and yea, victory cleave.
38. Megan Fox
She looks a bit more worn than she did a year or two ago, but that cleave can’t be denied inclusion on this list.
37. Alice Eve
This chick is definitely out of your league.
36. Elisabetta Canalis
Oh I wish that I had Clooney’s girl… Why can’t I find a woman who spells her name like that?
35. Sarah Shahi
A Persian dad and Spanish mom combined to produce super-sexy Aahoo Jahansouz, AKA Sarah Shahi. Cute face, perky pillows, plus, she was in Old School, so that’s an added bonus.
34. Emily Scott
This super sexy Aussie lingerie model doubles as part-time DJ.
33. Holly Weber
So what if it’s all man-made. Weber’s artificial cleave still deserves some props.
32. Kim Kardashian
She has no talent and she used to be hotter. She’s in a race against time to change her half-Armenian face into a full-Asian one. Don’t know what that’s all about, but she’s got junk in the trunk and rubbish in the headlights, so yea, she made the cut.
31. Monica Bellucci
Dude, she’s 46 years old and she can still rock those gravity defying tatas to cleave perfection. Go Netflix some of her foreign films and thank us later.
30. Minka Kelly
Derek Jeter was on to something here. Minka Kelly is ridiculously good looking. She took home Esquire’s Sexiest Woman Alive crown in 2010, and she’s gonna be featured in lists like this for a long, long time.
29. Abbey Clancy
Busty and British, Abbey was No.10 on FHM’s 100 Sexiest Women in the World 2010 list. She’s engaged to the extremely goofy-looking Peter Crouch, proving again that great athleticism leads to great cleave.
28. Halle Berry
Why else would you watch Swordfish?
27. Olivia Munn
She’s cute as hell and she’s got the nerdy cleave factor as well. Is she a legit actress? I really don’t think anyone cares.
26. Cheryl Cole
Those dimples say wholesome, but those after-market bumpers suggest otherwise. She divorced England footballer Ashley Cole in September 2010, so she’s on the market, fellas.
25. Eva Mendez
She gets hotter with age. We just have to sit back and watch it all unfold in different Nic Cage movies.
24. Christina Aguilera
Another chest champion who’s recently single. We’re not saying we like her music, but we like how she shows off her chest champs.
23. Brooke Burke
She’s a mother of four and she’s been sporting some of the best cleavage in the world for the past decade.
22. Joanna Krupa
Just a great combination of fit boob and undeniable sexiness.
21. Lucy Pinder
Score one for the Grand Canyon bracket of our super cleave tourney.
20. Christina Hendricks
This lovely redhead has a buxom intersection that can house a family of five. Seriously, you can swim that stuff for weeks on end you motorboatin’ summabitch. She brought curvy back and we celebrate her for it.
19. Salma Hayek
Salma Hayek’s amazing cleave is like the one true constant in the universe. That amazing rack has been on full display since the mid-90s and those two touching puppies are showing no signs of slowing down. Hayek’s going to be showcasing off her brilliant fun bags for years to come.
18. Denise Milani
She speaks Czech, Russian, German, Polish, Italian and English. Plus, just imagine how happy your holidays would be with Milani at your Christmas tree.
17. Gisele Bundchen
Mrs. Tom Brady had a good year. She pulled off the always tricky double whammy of being a new mom and the highest paid model in the world. She’s a complete package, but she gets bonus points for amazing breasts.
16. Kelly Brook
Hottest girl of the summer? Check. Seeing that cleave in 3D was well worth the price of admission to Piranha.
15. Alessandra Ambrosio
She’s Brazilian and we love her. Boobs like that could only come from South America.
14. Diora Baird
The highlight of Hot Tub Time Machine.
13. Jennifer Love Hewitt
JLH isn’t getting any younger, so there could be a time when she doesn’t make this list. This is not that time. With her fine work in the Lifetime original movie TheClient List , Hewitt’s spot remains secure.
12. Miranda Kerr
As if that face wasn’t enough, God crafted two perfect breasts to cap off this insane, supermodel package. Good on you Orlando Bloom, good on you.
11. Marisa Miller
We love Marisa Miller. She dominated our best bikini babes post. She giggled when we asked her about her love for cooking and doing laundry. Marisa Miller just owns lists like this because she must.
10. Adrianna Lima
It takes a special set of skills to sport a $2 million bra and not have anyone notice the jewels, but this Victoria Secret uber-model can pull it off no problem.
9. Katy Perry
Sure, she’s hip, tacky and cute as a button, but rest assured, Katy Perry wouldn’t be Katy Perry without Katy Perry’s cleavage. Homegirl can push those things right up to her neck. It’s worse when she wears those latex getups, too. It’s like trying to put the toothpaste back in the tube. Can’t do it. Won’t do it.
8. Rosie Jones
This sassy limey lass has dabbled in some adult-themed action, but we’re all adults right? We can all appreciate a busty British babe who set a Guinness World Record for the most bras taken off and put on in one minute.
7. Shay Maria
Oh yes, you’ve seen those boobs before. Maria’s a model that became an Internet sensation with her massive melons and epic hipster cleaveary.
6. Keely Hazell
Another British bombshell with the heavy artillery to defend the Empire.
5. Sofia Vergara
Vergara is a pillow fight waiting to happen.
4. Larissa Riquelme
During the World Cup, Larissa’s rack became so popular that AXE bought ad space on her Uruguayan cleavage. Plus, she started the whole cell phone in the boobs craze.
3. Scarlett Johansson
You knew that ScarJo’s breast-convergence would rank near the top of the list. I mean look at those things. Just look at ‘em. Unreal. Put those two together in a red dress and you got the makings of ultimate power.
2. Arianny Celeste
This UFC ring chick expanded her exposure outside of the Octagon last year. She appeared in Playboy and Maxim and dude, just look at her.
1. Brooklyn Decker
Not content with magazine covers and Swimsuit Issues, Brooklyn Decker’s cleavage is starring in an upcoming Adam Sandler movie. It’s a shame her breasts didn’t get top billing. Her cleave will definitely carry that film.
50 Boobies on the Bubble
- Claudia Lynx
- Anna Faris
- Kristin Cavallari
- Gabrielle Union
- Julianne Hough
- Jessica Szohr
- Maggie Q
- Freida Pinto
- Christina Ricci
- Alicia Keys
- Sienna Miller
- Mila Kunis
- Charlize Theron
- Katie Holmes
- Mary-Louise Parker
- Ashley Greene
- Naomi Watts
- Erin Andrews
- Emma Rigby
- Rachel Bilson
- Rose Byrne
- Jamie Chung
- Jessica Simpson
- Eva Longoria
- Ines Sainz
- Denise Richards
- Jenny McCarthy
- Sarah Silverman
- Kat Dennings
- Madeline Zima
- Michelle Trachtenberg
- Katherine Jenkins
- Helen Mirren
- Marisa Tomei
- Allison Brie
- Stacy Keibler
- Jennifer Tilly
- Moon Bloodgood
- Diane Kruger
- Camilla Belle
- Anna Paquin
- Roselyn Sanchez
- Gina Carano
- Ana Beatriz Barros
- Amber Heard
- Amber Rose
- Elizabeth Hasselbeck