Saturday, 20 September 2014

15 Widely Released 2004 Movies We Bet You Won't Recognize

15 Widely Released 2004 Movies We Bet You Won't Recognize image
2004 was not a very good year for movies. I’m sorry, but it had to be said. For everyMean GirlsAnchormanShaun Of The Dead or Sideways, 2004 offered up a dozen or so widely released movies that were more along the lines of Mr. 3000Alexanderor Fat Albert. In the years since, we’ve pushed these films out of our brains and pretty much forgot they even existed, despite the fact that millions of dollars were spent hammering them into our brains at the time. So, ten years later, let’s play a little game.

Just like we did for 2008 and 2009, we’ll give you a release date, a box office gross, a cast list, a plot description, an excerpt of Cinema Blend’s review and a still image. All you need to do is search deep into the corner of your brain to come up with the film’s name. Are you ready? Then let’s begin…

Round #1
Release Date: July 30, 2004
Worldwide Box Office: $28,283,637
Stars: Bill Paxton, Ben Kingsley, Vanessa Hudgens, Brady Corbet

Plot: A bunch of brothers live on a secret island alongside their father, an eccentric billionaire who runs International Rescue in an effort to save lives across the world. Eventually, they must do battle with Ben Kingsley who plays the film’s villain.

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"The central plot of this movie is what bothers me the most. The movie is entitled ___________ but I don’t know anything about them. I know the dad is a billionaire- widow turned superhero but his boy-band reject sons are background scenery. I couldn’t tell you their names if I tried."

This movie was based off of a 1960s British television show, and hardcore fans did not like it at all… 

Round #2
Release Date: April 2, 2004 
Worldwide Box Office: $37,666,766
Stars: Julia Stiles, Luke Mably, Miranda Richardson 

Plot: A member of Denmark’s Royal Family decides to attend college in Wisconsin because an episode of Girls Gone Wild leads him to mistakenly believe all women who live there will readily show him their breasts. While at school, he hides his true identity and falls for Julia Stiles. She discovers his ruse and chicanery ensues. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"This corny, tacked on ending reeks of compromise, like some Paramount bigwig took Coolidge aside and told her: ‘Look Marty, we need to really sell this film to our target audience (teenage girls between the ages of 13 and 16), so whittle down this ridiculous theme of female empowerment, add in a funny scene where the Prince competes in a lawnmower race, and kick the romance up a notch.’" 

Fun fact: this movie got three sequels, none of which starred Julia Stiles. 

Round #3
Release Date: April 2, 2004 
Worldwide Box Office: $103,951,461 
Stars: Roseanne, Judi Dench, Cuba Gooding Jr, Randy Quaid 

Plot: A group of cows decide to go after a cattle rustler in exchange for the $750 needed to save their owner’s farm from foreclosure. There’s a rival bounty hunter, some weird usage of yodeling and enough jokes to keep viewers mildly amused. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"You have the necessary battle between good and evil. You have the requisite funny background characters. And you have the story of a hero or heroine who feels like they don’t fit in and is seeking that special place where they belong. In ______________ that heroine just happens to be… a cow, or three cows, to be precise."" 

This was supposed to be Disney’s last 2D animated movie, but John Lasseter put a stop to that. 

Round #4
Release Date: December 17, 2004 
Worldwide Box Office: $34,586,268 
Stars: Dennis Quaid, Giovani Ribisi, Tyrese Gibson, Hugh Laurie 

Plot: A crew led by Dennis Quaid crash lands their plane into the desert. Initially, they decide to wait it out, but after some run-ins with locals, they attempt to rebuild the aircraft and fly out on their own. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"The screenplay is rife with awkwardness and bizarre behavior. It’s filled with bad, cringe-worthy conversations and idiotic characters who lay out in the sun complaining about the heat when there’s perfectly good shade two feet behind them." 

It’s a remake of a 1960s movie… 

Round #5
Release Date: September 24, 2004 
Worldwide Box Office: $117,592,831 
Stars: Julianne Moore, Dominic West, Gary Sinise, Anthony Edwards 

Plot: A woman who may or may not be delusional tries to get over the death of her son, despite the fact that everyone around her says the boy never existed. She eventually goes on the run and a bizarre conspiracy involving the "them" emerges. Seriously, this movie is off the rails. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"_______ is a fun thrill of a movie, and during the month of September, after the summer fanfare and before Oscar season, that’s usually a nice thing to have. The film has some interesting visual choices, making decisions from the opening credits on that clue the viewer into something, even if they can’t tell what it is." 

This is probably the weirdest movie on this entire list… 

Round #6
Release Date: December 25, 2004
Worldwide Box Office: $34,409,206 
Stars: Anna Paquin, Lena Olin 

Plot: There’s an occult ritual that needs to be finished, a house that keeps losing power, a Satanic cult and various other shenanigans, all taking place in Spain on the anniversary of an eclipse. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"’Tis the season to confuse the hell out of people. In a year where the Red Sox won the world series, Surviving Christmas opened before Halloween, and now _________ debuting on Christmas Day, it’s easy to say the world is officially gone upside down." 

This movie was actually shelved for two years by Miramax after it was completed because they had no confidence in it. The film was savaged by most critics, but it actually performed fine enough at the box office… 

Round #7
Release Date: September 3, 2004 
Worldwide Box Office: $21,568,818 
Stars: Josh Hartnett, Rose Byrne, Matthew Lillard and Diane Kruger 

Plot: Josh Hartnett was in love with some chick back in the day, but she up and vanished. Years later, he overhears someone who might be her inside a coffee shop. So, he cancels a business trip and spends a stupid number of days trying to find her while avoiding his girlfriend who thinks he’s on the business trip. On paper, it sounds like a romantic comedy, but it’s definitely not that at all. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"Guys, if you’re worried about the pressure that your girls are putting on you to go see Vanity Fair, offer _________ as a friendly alternative. There are enough interesting twists and turns here to keep everyone flinching and plenty of struggling romance to keep the ladies happy." 

Remember when Josh Hartnett was going to be a thing? 

Round #8
Release Date: June 25, 2004 
Worldwide Box Office: $62,172,050 
Stars: Guy Pearce, Freddie Highmore, Jean-Claude Dreyfus 

Plot: Two tigers are separated when they’re cubs. Years later, they recognize each other in the middle of an illegal underground Tiger fighting ring. They break free from their captors and go on a crazy adventure together. 

Excerpt From Cinema Blend’s Review"Anyone who has dreamt of witnessing the Bengal tiger in its natural habitat will certainly enjoy the opening sequence of __________, where Koumal and Sangha frolic through the jungle kicking a coconut back-and-forth like a soccer ball. But like all animal dramas, ________ contains material that may be inappropriate for children younger than 7." 

This movie made way more money than I would have guessed.

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