Whether
you like a movie or not – can be influenced by your age and what
generation you’re in. We know that it’s always difficult to come out and
declare the best movies ever made in any genre. It’s inevitable that
there will be complaints. One thing to remember is that movies aren’t
made or seen in a vacuum. For example, The Exorcist is a classic, but
it’s not on our list, and that’s because there are plenty of other
scarier and more interesting flicks out there – according to us. Some
flicks are historical touchstones, certainly, but we weighed other
factors too. Anyway, enjoy our list of the scariest and greatest horror
films of all time. Comments are welcome, please.
Hellraiser (1987)
A total
creepout, Clive Barker’s story of the Cenobites (“demons to some, angels
to others”) who visit you when you solve a mysterious puzzle box.
Although we don’t know how you can see them as angels. Frank Cotton,
after being ripped apart by chains, says that the Cenobites bring pain
and pleasure, indivisible. Of course, he’s saying this while not wearing
any skin. We’re still waiting for the pleasure. Then there’s Doug
Bradley as the lead Cenobite Pinhead. He gets all the best lines, like
“No tears, please! It’s a waste of good suffering!”. Andrew Robinson
(Deep Space Nine, Dirty Harry) says “Jesus wept.” before getting his
face torn off. Don’t forget the weird bum walking around who eats
scorpions for fun. What’s your pleasure, sir? Spawned many sequels,
mostly direct to video trash. The only other one worth watching is the
second one, Hellbound, which doubles up on the “I can’t believe I just
saw that” factor.
The Evil Dead (1981)
The first
entry in Sam Raimi’s very fine trilogy about demons possessing the
living. This is where Bruce Campbell’s career really took off, although
his version of Ash in this movie is nothing like in parts 2 and 3. Here,
he’s reluctant to do anything heroic and there’s no wisecracking.
Probably because it’s hard to think of something funny to say when your
loved one gets possessed and proceeds to chew her own hand off. The Evil
Dead goes pretty damn far to gross you out. There’s decapitation,
dismemberment, blood pouring from open orifices, a pencil-to-ankle
stabbing, Bruce Campbell being humped by his headless girlfriend’s
corpse while simulataneously spewing blood into his face, and rape by a
tree branch. Evil Dead is the ultimate in what they call “spam in a
cabin” flicks. It introduced the Necronomicon (book of the dead, bound
in human flesh, written in blood) which itself comes alive a few times.
It shows Sam Raimi’s brilliance in long tracking shots and establishing
an atmosphere of claustrophobia. It also plays with genre conventions
(“It won’t start!” she cries. “It won’t let us leave!” Then, the car
starts.) And it’s gross. Sometimes, that’s enough.
Dawn of the Dead (1978)
Ah yes,
Dawn of the Dead, another grossout that happens to be about something.
Those zombies are us, dude. Why do you think they hang out at the
shopping mall, walking around aimlessly while Muzak plays? Romero’s
Night of the Living Dead will always be a classic (and it’s about the
civil rights movement, dummy!) but Dawn will always be our personal
favorite. Ken Foree is a God in this picture. And Tom Savini gets to
show off his talent for gooey effects. Try not to eat anything before
watching this movie. Unless, of course, you like eating human
intestines. And we still think the pie-in-the-zombie-face is pretty
funny. Followed by Day of the Dead, which is pretty good. The remake is
also worth a look.
A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)
Sure, we
all know Michael Meyers and Jason Vorhees were pros when it came to
slashin’, but nobody had personality like Freddy Krueger. Add to that
the fact that his origins and supernatural abilities are far more
interesting than anything in the Friday the 13th or Halloween movies,
throw in some subtextual Reagan-80s angst, and let Wes Craven put the
whole thing together, and you’ve got a horror film that elevates itself
above the genre. Inspired a crapload of sequels, including Freddy vs
Jason. Parts 2 and 3 are ok (yes, part 2. we said it). The rest kinda
suck. (Except for Wes Craven’s New Nightmare, which wasn’t bad.) But
this is the best, and in the end, the only one really worth watching.
Watch for your favorite hunk Johnny Depp in his debut as a jock teen, as
well as John Saxon as Nancy’s daddy. Because John Saxon rules in any
movie. You’ll also love the ongoing bit regarding Nancy’s mom and a
bottle of booze.
The Texas Chainsaw Massacre (1974)
The
ultimate in grindhouse entertainment, in our opinion unmatched by any of
the sequels or remakes. Based very loosely on the story of Ed Gein, who
kept human skulls, skin, and other parts in his home as decorations,
this film concerns a group of kids on a road trip who end up attacked by
a family of crazed cannibals in rural Texas, one of whom likes to wear a
mask of human skin and has a certain way with a chainsaw. From the very
beginning, when John Larroquette delivers the infamous monologue, and a
radio broadcast tells the story of decomposed corpses and grave
robberies, we get an idea of what we’re in for. It’s a truly
surrealistic experience and it’s raw. Tobe Hooper would later give us
Eaten Alive, The Funhouse, Poltergeist, Lifeforce, and The Texas
Chainsaw Massacre 2, which is pretty damn entertaining in its own right.
The movie is a product of the Vietnam era, examining the decay of the
rural South, and the ties that bind a family together – yes,
Leatherface’s family. Roger Ebert found the movie effective and scary,
yet gave it 2 stars because he found it “unnecessary” and “without
purpose.” Looking past the fact that sometimes scary is enough, it seems
to us that Ebert disdains the horror genre enough that he doesn’t
bother to probe the film for deeper meaning. Sometimes you get out what
you put in.
Alien (1979)
With its
Giger-inspired designs, expert direction by Ridley Scott, and
female-hero played by Sigourney Weaver, Alien shocked everybody when it
came out. There are two major reveals in the movie – one involving how
the alien creature gestates in a host and the other involving a crew
member who isn’t what he appears to be. When our crew member finally
does reveal himself, it’s as crazy as seeing an alien baby pop out of
somebody’s chest. Alien is a beautiful thing to behold. The actors, the
special effects, the sets, the slow buildup. It’s not a film for ADD
types growing up on Resident Evil movies. It surprisingly borrows from
Mario Bava’s Planet of the Vampires, of all things! It creates a
believable future (Scott is good at this – see Blade Runner) before it
completely exploits our fear of the unknown. We love the subtle
greed-kills message – crew members Brett and Parker are only concerned
with their paychecks, later to find out that their employer is just as
concerned about its own bottom line. Hey, if a dangerous organism needs
to be shipped to earth to satisfy the stockholders, who are you to
argue? Followed by James Cameron’s Aliens (great movie in its own
right), David Fincher’s Alien 3 (an interesting film, if nothing else),
and Alien Resurrection (dumb, but still probably worth the rental).
Ignore the ridiculous Alien vs. Predator. By the way, we’re still
wondering how a little alien can grow into a big alien so quickly?
Halloween (1978)
John
Carpenter’s exercise in suspense is not technically the first slasher.
You’d have to go back further to stuff like Mario Bava’s Bay of Blood,
and Bob Clark’s Black Christmas. In fact, Halloween borrows a couple of
touches from Clark’s film, using the killer point-of-view angle, for
example. But Halloween has earned its place in horror cinema history for
sure. It’s creepy but it’s also fun to watch. Little Michael Meyers
puts on a mask and kills his sister in the shocking opening, leading in
to his escape from an asylum years later. His doctor, Dr. Loomis, played
by Donald Pleasence in a role that we think surpasses his turn as
Blofeld, tracks him to his old town Haddenfield, Illinois. Michael
begins his murder spree as Loomis and the cops try to track him down.
Meyers, as Loomis suggests, is the manifestation of evil. “That was the
boogeyman!” exclaims poor Laurie Strode (star turn by Jamie Lee Curtis).
Loomis’ response: “As a matter of fact, it was.” Halloween encompasses
all those things we were scared of as children. We’re supposed to be
Laurie Strode, but we feel like little Tommy Doyle. Carpenter keeps the
flick low on gore but high on the suspense. He peels away the layers of
suburban utopia and shows us the unseen secrets underneath. The movie
reveals Carpenter’s Hitchcock inspiration in the way he sets up the
movie’s tableau (Sam Loomis was, of course, a character from Psycho, and
don’t forget that Janet Leigh is Jamie Lee’s mom). Halloween is a
superior exercise and can’t be dismissed. Forget all sequels past number
4. (yes, we even like Halloween III). Carpenter inserts a few shots of
1953′s The Thing from Another World into Halloween. Not surprising,
then, that he would remake that film a few years later.
The Thing (1982)
“I know
I’m human. And if you were all these things, then you’d just attack me
right now, so some of you are still human. This thing doesn’t want to
show itself, it wants to hide inside an imitation. It’ll fight if it has
to, but it’s vulnerable out in the open. If it takes us over, then it
has no more enemies, nobody left to kill it. And then it’s won.” The
Thing is raw horror and paranoia. It’s also heavy on testosterone. No
females for miles around, just a group of American researchers in
Antarctica who happen to come across a defrosted alien. A very pissed
off defrosted alien. This “thing” is the nastiest creature you’ve ever
seen. It can transform itself into anything – a perfect copy. Too bad
that it has to digest you first, and boy, can that get ugly. You can
read the film as a commentary on communism. Although it may be difficult
to think about when you’re watching some dude’s head stretch itself to
the floor, grow spider legs, and then scurry out of the room. We think
that the fear of there being a commie amongst us takes a backseat to the
fear of infection. Blood is used and abused alot in this movie. Yes,
The Thing is icky alright. We have not seen anything like it before and
probably won’t again. Big props to Kurt Russell who is amazing in this
film. And the ending is fabulous. The only thing that gets us is the
violence done to the poor dogs. You can have an alien creature grow
teeth in its chest and chew a guys arms off, but killing poor pooches
makes us shudder every time. Poor little guys!
Videodrome (1983)
“I had a
brain tumor. And I had visions. I believe the visions caused the tumor,
and not the reverse. I could feel the visions coalesce, and become
flesh… uncontrollable flesh. And when they removed the tumor, it was
called Videodrome.” Before he made Videodrome, David Cronenberg gave us
the cult classics Shivers, The Brood, and Scanners. Videodrome is his
masterpiece. Just so you know, we ain’t knockin anything he’s done
since. They’re all excellent. (Eastern Promises and A History of
Violence are great movies and they’re not horror. Yes, Cronenberg is a
master). But there’s something about Videodrome. It has its finger on
the pulse of the digital age. It’s not so much sex and violence, but
about sex and violence. It’s also about media, television, and the new
reality. It’s a new way of seeing (Barry Convex’s glasses). It’s
Marshall McLuhan, it’s evolution (new flesh), it’s body horror, it’s
video as the new religion. Way, way ahead of its time.
The Shining (1980)
We still
say Kubrick was a genius, even though Eyes Wide Shut was kinda dumb. But
hey, you can’t win all the time. The Shining, however, based on Stephen
King’s novel, is absolutely gorgeous. Jack Nicholson gives one of his
greatest (and most well known) performances as Jack Torrence. Nicholson
shows us the mental breakdown of a man; Kubrick shows us the
disintegration the family unit. We also get commentary on the
proceedings through the eyes of the Overlook Hotel itself. The
Overlook’s appearance and personality is just brilliant. We think it
counts as a major character. As Jack loses his mind you can almost hear
the hotel whispering to him (before the old residents really get to
him). From Native American decor to the bizarre ghostly characters to
the chilling soundtrack, it’s a crafty piece of work. Kubrick takes his
time; there are no jump-scares in The Shining (well, ok, maybe just
one). But there’s a pervading sense of dread. We know poor Scatman
Cruthers is flying from sunny Miami to his doom. We see it coming. But
it doesn’t lessen the impact. We feel sorry for him. We worry about poor
Danny, even though his alter-ego Tony freaks us out. Ditto Lloyd the
bartender and crazed waiter Delbert Grady. The scene where he casually
tells Jack how he had to “correct” his wife and daughters is creepy to
the extreme. Love the scene when Danny is riding his tricycle down the
hallways before he encounters the girls. Shelley Duvall does a great job
playing the constantly-on-edge mom. Watch the scene where she discovers
what Jack’s been typing. Check out the Gold room. Room 237. The long
tracking shots. The radio messages over the howling wind. The ocean of
blood flowing through the corridor. The bizarre capper with Jack in an
old photo from 1921. The score with Wendy Carlos, Ray Noble, Al Bowlly,
Penderecki. Watch it if you haven’t seen it. And watch it again if you
have.
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