Sunday, 26 August 2012

The Top 10 Moments from Last Night's 'America's Next Top Model' Cycle 19 Premiere

(Photos courtesy of CW)

The booty-tooching, smizing, and did-she-really-just-do-that bizarre behavior is back! The premiere of America's Next Top Model Cycle 19 aired on the CW last night, and, it was a "Totes Amaze!" preview of the hilarity to come this season.

Since this cycle of the forever-running fashion competition is college-themed, we're going to refer to each model by her school or, um, unique tribute. Because let's face it, you probably don't remember who "Jasmine" is, but you'll so know who we're talking about when we say, "Cat Girl."

Here are the Top 10 moments from the premiere that we just can't stop talking about:

10) The series opening: Because P'Trique (The S*it Girls Say Guy) never, ever gets old, "Look me in my smize you are perfect!"

9) Tyra Banks took a course at Harvard—got that? Harvard, okay? Harvard Harvard Harvard Harvard Harvard: First it was P'Trique's not-so-subtle callout, "Look at you with your big fierce college ideas! Can I get an Ivy League booty tooch?"

Then it continued throughout the episode with Tyra saying stuff along this line of, "It hit me after graduating from Harvard that we had to do a college series."

Note to Tyra, we get it. You took a course at Harvard. Moving on...

8) The Disney girl: "I am a huuuuuge Disney fan. I was actually also accepted into the Disney College program that begins next semester." And then she screamed a lot and jumped up and down.

7) The girl with the missing tooth: "I have a retainer on because I have a fake tooth," she says. "But this is not going to get in my way, you see those girls on Ford Models, Elite Models with a gap in the middle of their teeth, but I've just got it on the side."

But wait, there's more! "I think I can fit my fist in my mouth!" And she does.

6) The boo-hoo woe-is-me Harvard grad student: "The smart people don't expect you to turn into a model," she says, while weeping, "they think that's a waste of your intelligence." Gosh, we feel so bad for her.

5) When Tyra and Cat Girl get into a meow-off:
Cat Girl was all like... "Meow!"

Then Tyra was all like... "Rowr!"

Then we were all like, "OMG!"

4) Everything Homeschool Girl says: "You think I have a boring face? I have a lot of story and expression," she says, directly to the camera, about her Facebook commenters. "I'm Jewish, Native American, our people were led off on the Trail of Tears and the Holocaust, so if you have a problem with my face, well... You're a racist!"

We love how she later tells her mom: "I had a meeting with the judges, and I did a good job!"

3) The All-American Blonde Mean Girl likes to fight—no, seriously, fight:"I used to be a mean girl," she says. "I wouldn't say I'm still a mean girl, but if I need to put somebody in their place I'll put them in their place."

"I've been in a few brawls, I guess you could say," she says later on. "But I would never do that again because my face is too pretty to mess up. Sorry."

2) It's not ANTM unless someone is crying, right? How about every week we keep track of who boo-hoos? This week, it was:
  • Harvard because the world is such a mean, mean place
  • Texas Longhorn when Tyra brings up some unresolved daddy issues
  • The hard-ass Aveda Institute Girl over her serious family troubles
  • Kent State when she doesn't make the Top 13
  • Disney Girl when she does make the Top 13, because well, "I know I'm here because I'm a believer! And I know that my dreams can come true."
  • Irvine Basketballer because this, too, is also her dream

1) And last but not least, the winning final remarks from the models who didn't make the cut:

Texas was pretty distraught, "I'm trying not to cuss, but I feel like s*it so... If you did not vote for me you can kiss my black behind!"

But it was Cat Girl who once again had us in hysterical happy-tears when she gave her elimination speech in Cat. Yes, Cat. Her sad, squeaky meows even had subtitle translations:

We can't wait to see what happens next week... Seriously, the stripper comment the Irvine Basketballer made? Whoa girl. It's going to be incredible!

What was your favorite part of the show last night? And which model do you want to win? Tell us your thoughts in the comments!

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